


From the Ground Up

by SunWeaver



Series: Pretty Good From A Certain Perspective [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childhood Memories, Dissociation, Gen, Genderfluid Mollymauk Tealeaf, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not enough proofreading done sorry, Sickfic, Tags to update as fic does, minor self-harm, relatively quick recovery, resurrection AU, will have to come back later to fix typos and grammar errors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-05-31 07:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19421569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunWeaver/pseuds/SunWeaver
Summary: Caduceus Clay is curious about what the Wild Mother is guiding him towards. How does Mollymauk Tealeaf intertwine with his own destiny?That answer may not become apparent for a long while. Because first and foremost: he needs to help Mollymauk reclaim his voice.





	1. Two days from the grave

Gentle ribbons of smoke roll up from the end of the stick of incense, his hands lower to place on the ground a small bundle of flowers tied together, some of the prettiest ones from the Taehelhne family’s graves. The petals were a striking vibrant orange that faded to a yellow when closer to the stem, like fire.

Crossing his legs and sitting with his hands folded in his lap, he, Caduceus Clay, patiently waits in the peacefully silent night. His eyes, fixed on the wavy tendrils of smoke illuminated by the moon’s light, flutter closed as he waits for a sign. It’s not very explicit, and purely by his own discretion that he deems his offering was acceptable enough for this ritual. At the distant rustle of tree branches to a warm, welcoming breeze, Caduceus draws in a breath to stall a moment before asking his question:

“How long ago…” he paused, ensuring this was the question he sought answers to, “... Was Mollymauk buried?”

A deafening silence settled over the grove, not one too unfamiliar to Caduceus. Admittedly, it could leave him anxious, while also bringing him immense comfort. His eyes remained closed, and around him, he sensed the presence of another. Warm. Earthy. It felt as though two hands were placed on his shoulders, heavy while weightless. And leaning down to his ear, which flicked reflexively to the close contact, he heard a voice that just barely spoke through the wind:

“ _On the night of your dream_ ”

And just like that, that feeling faded.

Caduceus remained, waiting for the full presence to leave. The rustling of tree leaves sounded again, the world once more becoming alive and active, even in the peaceful rest of night.

Speaking of rest, Caduceus was _exhausted_. Having spent all the day prior to traveling out and then spending doubled that time hauling the deadweight of his new house guest’s body, he had not gotten a chance to sleep since. If the math stacked up right by observing the rising and setting sun, Caduceus could gather it had been close to two days ago since Mollymauk had been buried. Which seemed appropriate, it was a fresh grave and the stains of blood had only started to dry.

In retrospect now, a more pressing question he would have liked answered would have been “ _Where are his friends?_ ” or “ _How is he alive?_ ”.

Too tired to care and not wanting to take for granted the gracious answer he already got, he decided to finally retire for the evening.

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

Bleary, ruby eyes flutter open. With a blurry vision, only the shapes made from shadows and lights show through. After a couple of blinks, his vision began to clear. The room is fairly dim, no glass windows to filter in the light, only a slightly ajar door that let in a faint glow. The walls and ceiling were all made of cut stone bricks, while the floor was grass. Though he didn’t sleep on the floor, instead he slept on a bed that was tucked into the corner of the room. The further his eyes wandered, the more he started to see the details around him.

This was someone’s home, it was filled in an almost claustrophobic fashion where the bedding was shoved into the corner to make room for the other furniture: an old trunk, a large hutch with hanging herbs and vials of spices, wooden shelves fixed to the wall with various knick-knacks and stones sitting atop, a round table with two chairs sat in the very middle of it all, and overgrown vines that crawl along the mortar of the bricks and overtake an old fireplace.

Thankfully there was no need for a fire because the air felt thick with humidity.

He lifted his hands to his face, but they felt heavy and noodly. Wanting to scrub at his eyes, his palms just slap down over his mouth and eyes. They’re too heavy and uncoordinated to work right. There was a strange, heavy sedation that his body was under and that he was trying to struggle through.

His head felt like it was full of cotton, no longing the agonizing headache that was over focusing on his own existence, but instead, it was tender and left unable to focus on anything specific. His hands dropped down to his chest and dragged back off to his sides.

Too tired.

His eyes shut again.

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

When Caduceus Clay would finally awaken, it would be passed the sun’s highest point in the sky. Ah well, better late than never.

The first order of business he wanted to tend to was checking in on his new guest. The night prior, he laid out his bedroll in the temple’s main hall, allowing for Mollymauk to rest in his original bed. It just seemed courteous and would be comfier than a thin, barely padded bedroll.

The room was still, Caduceus was cautious with each step, not wanting to bump into any of the furniture or cause any noise to startle his guest’s slumber. Looking down on Mollymauk where he lies, it would appear he had not moved at all. He crouched beside him and observed Mollymauk as he slept.

He was still filthy, a layer of grime stuck to his skin and clothes, and now with the warmer temperature, a fine sheen of sweat was starting to form. In his sleep, he snored lightly, his features serene. Something that Caduceus now noticed was that he mistook Mollymauk’s eyes as being bruised, what was really happening was whatever eye makeup he wore was smudged.

Caduceus knew little about makeup, only that for the few times he ever saw anyone wear it was when coming to the Blooming Groves to bury their dead, some of the more feminine people would have used makeup around their eyes and on their lips.

For a while now, Caduceus was assuming that by Mollymauk’s physical frame that perhaps he would go by “he” and “him”, though the clothes, jewelry, and makeup had him second guess this. So perhaps, for the time being, Caduceus would work to stick with the neutral “they” pronouns until he was certain.

His answer to this question would have to wait, as Mollymauk was sound asleep. Perhaps as a kind gesture, he could help clean them up… 

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

The next time those scarlet eyes would open would be to see a looming figure over him. Blinking to try and clear his fuzzy vision, it would be a familiar face that smiled back.

“Good to see ya ‘wake,” The voice was gentle and low, comforting like a distant rumble of thunder, “Don’t mean to bother ya, but… Thought you might like to freshen up a bit. Can I do that for ya?”

The words were hard to fully comprehend, just when he thought that he was back into his normal body, he felt as though he was slipping back into the dark, endless void. In the dazed state, he just started to try and will his body to roll onto his side. His limbs were like sandbags, as he tried to push off from one side, he ached and defeatedly fell back again. Exhausted.

“ _Easy,_ ” He got chided, “I’m just going to clean your face up. It’ll be cold, but maybe that’ll feel nice on ya.”

A cool, damp cloth touched his cheek, pressing against the skin and dragging up. When the cheek was re-exposed to the air, he felt a draft that helped to cool his feverish face. The hand would continue to wipe and rub his face, leaving it pleasantly chill while the rest of his body still felt warm from all the layers of clothes he had on.

His hand was lifted up not by his own volition, and the wet rag cleaned between his fingers and up to his forearm. The same would be done for his other hand and both would be placed to rest on his stomach.

“That ought to feel better,” He silently agreed to that, “I’ve got to tend to some chores, but when I get back, how about we try to eat something. You need to regain your strength.”

All he did was exhale breathily and drift back to sleep.


	2. Serving of Soup

Watching bugs had become one of Caduceus’s favorite pastimes, watching marching ants form a line along the gravestones, seeing a butterfly flutter from flower to flower, and observing flickering fireflies during the night. What had him rapted now was an emerald green, iridescent shell beetle. It rested on a leaf of this tree branch, a branch in which Caduceus had climbed up and only stopped now to inspect this specimen.

“ _ Caduceus! _ ” A familiar, distant voice called out, “ _ Dinner’s ready, come on! _ ”

Hesitating, he watched the beetle for another moment. Dinner was calling, but this bug was just  _ really cool _ . Well, who’s to say he can’t have both?

“ _ Caduceus!! _ ” That time, the voice sounded a little more aggravated.

He tried to act quickly, nimble as he scooched further down this branch, there was a very slight bend under his weight, but not to a degree he feared it snapping. His small hand reached out, simply trying to hold the pinky out by the leaf to give this beetle a chance to crawl onto his hand safely.

“ _ Caduceus, where the heck are you?? _ ” The voice came closer this time.

Just as the beetle began to touch it’s legs to Caduceus’s knuckle, a crackling came from behind him. And before Caduceus could react, the branch swung downward and he was midair falling for a split second.

“ _ CADU-- _ ”

Thank the Wild Mother for mama’s healing touch. Such a fall was not lethal, but that didn’t mean a small child would not still scream bloody murder at the snap of a bone. Fortunately, mama could grant him just enough relief to no longer have his arm bent unnaturally, but her magic was tapped for the evening.

While his siblings got to sit around the hearth of amethysts enjoying their meals in their laps. Mama brought a bowl of soup to Caduceus and proceeded to feed him spoonfuls of the broth and vegetables. His arm was put into a makeshift sling so to keep him from moving it before his father got the chance to heal it entirely.

Hearty chunks of mushroom and bits of vegetable were tender from slow cooking over the purple crystals. The broth itself was watery, but very fragrant from herbs and the mushrooms themselves.

“Have we learned our lesson now about climbing out too far on the branches of trees?” Mama gently asked.

Caduceus gave a small affirming hum, he was thankfully spared any further reprimanding than that. Clearly a broken arm was all the explanation that he needed to know why climbing out on branches was so dangerous.

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

The recipe had been kept to heart by Caduceus Clay, it was so easy to throw together while resulting in something very delicious. He lacked most of the other vegetables, what he once had come to know to be a fairly colorful bowl was now reserved to the neutral warm colors with the orange from the carrots popping out.   


He poured out a healthy serving into one of the wooden bowls and carried it into the back bedroom of the temple.

It had been quite a few hours since he last checked on Mollymauk, this time they really did roll onto their side and face the wall. To Caduceus, this was already a small sign of improvement.  _ Small _ , but still present.

He knelt by the bedside, careful to set the bowl down and reach out to Mollymauk’s shoulder, gently tapping them-

Their body flinched at the touch, no matter how gentle at all, Caduceus withdrew his hand and watched them come to consciousness, blinking with disorientation before slowly turning up to see his face.

“Good afternoon,” Caduceus composed and collected as usual, “Can I interest you in something to eat? I made mushroom soup.”

There wasn’t much of a response out of them, not verbally, and not through their facial features either. Their eyes didn’t seem to even focus on him. They were distant, lost.

Caduceus gently brought up the bowl, holding it in front of him and lifting the spoon to try and convey the message symbolically instead.

A few more seconds of that far set gaze (well, hard to tell when there are no pupils to discern in those crimson orbs) but now they did place their hand down against the bed to push their self upright. Caduceus patiently waited as it took a few moments for them to rise up to sitting. Even as they sat upright, they swayed and needed a hand to stabilize.

Caduceus set the bowl back down to quickly amend the arrangement, wanting to help Mollymauk sit with his back to the wall and stuffing a pillow behind there to help cushion from leaning their back to a hard wall. Mollymauk was easy to manhandle and rearrange like a doll.

Then, grabbing the bowl once more, Caduceus gave the contents a proper stir before offering the bowl to hold in Mollymauk’s hands. The bowl sat on their lap, hands limply not able to lift it.

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

“Wasn’t this what you were wanting?”

The tiefling’s head lifted lazily to the woman in front of them, staring back with fierce intensity only accentuated by her fire red head of hair.

“ _ Empty empty empty _ ,” She mocked them with a dull, lowered octave to her voice, “Just go on and eat, it’s right there in front of ya.”

When their head lowered again, there was a lukewarm bowl of soup sitting in their lap, the handle of the spoon stuck out over the rim. Bobbling around in the broth were some vegetables and chunks of meat. Though, their mind did not quite understand this. It barely even registered this as food at all.

“Good fuckin--don’t tell me you need someone to  _ feed _ you too.” Groaning, she stood back up to her feet, “You’ll figure it out. Gustav isn’t paying me to babysit you.” And turning on her heels, she marched right out of the tent.

The soup would proceed to cool there in their lap.

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

“Here, let me help.” Mollymauk’s hand was pliable under Caduceus’s touch, he helped guide their hand to the end of the spoon, curling the fingers around the handle. Then, with his own hand clutching around theirs to keep a grip, brought the spoon out of the soup with broth and a chunk of mushroom on it. They waited momentarily for the rolls of steam to drift up and away, before bringing the bite to Mollymauk’s mouth.

It was then by this point that Mollymauk’s mouth opened reflexively, and closed down taking that first bite. Caduceus was able to pull his hand away as he saw Mollymauk chew slowly.

“That’s it, very good.” Caduceus was glad to see Mollymauk was not entirely needing for him to hand feed them.

Once Mollymauk swallowed, it seemed to finally hit them that they were eating. The food wasn’t rich; instead, it was watery and earthen. There was some potent herb that worked well for the fragrance of the mushroom. Mollymauk was able to dig the spoon in and bring another bite to their mouth, and then another, with each bite more they get a little more eager to continue eating.

Sitting there in the quiet of the room, with only the eager slurps and  _ tinking _ of the spoon to the bowl, Caduceus watched Mollymauk and observed their clothes and jewelry. The gold and silver that adorned their horns was tarnished by the dirt and mud, grains still stuck in between the linked chains or fogged the luster of the gems. There was only one dangling bobble, a crescent moon, the other one must have broken off at some point unfortunately.   


Their arms had plenty of beautifully inked tattoos that only now was Caduceus getting to explore. A colorful plumage of feathers sprouted out of their shirt collar and went all the way up their neck and curled their cheek. Each feather was lovingly painted, blue, green, cyan-red? Caduceus squinted, having to strain his eyes a moment as he swore he was seeing a spot of red on their neck. The eye of the peacock was a bright, crimson red. And now that he saw it, it was hard to look away.

“ _ Gods. _ ”

Caduceus’s ears perked up.

Did Mollymauk just speak?


	3. Tealeaves

“How are you feeling so far?” Was the question that this tall, lumbering man had asked.

Mollymauk was slowly getting a grip on reality, the weightiness of his limbs felt much less restraining. The soup pleasantly filled his stomach to be content without being miserable. And while he wanted to roll over and sleep more, he was finding himself in an alert enough state that he could tangibly focus on words and objects before him.

The question took a second to process, but Mollymauk finally put his sore voice to use, “ _ mm...b...ad.. _ ”

It was like he was working an anesthetic out of his body. He would forget certain limbs were even attached to his body, going to move his foot to tuck under his knee, but instead just kicked his own leg with his heel and just let it stay there.

There was still cotton in his head, but it felt like some of the fluff was pulled out to give enough space for him to see and hear. It was now the execution of speaking and motor skills that were lacking. Like being drunk without the fun buzz that made you silly.

“I suppose I would feel that way too if I was in your shoes,” The man chuckled, Mollymauk was not as entertained and remained quiet, “Ah, I feel it’s important I ask you a few questions.”

_ Questions? _ For some reason, he felt anxious at that.  _ Questions about him? _ That could only go wrong before it went right.

“First… Do you like tea?”

Mollymauk blinked at him, they had a moment where they sat there staring back at one another. The man smiled pleasantly and waited patiently, “...  _ y..y-s _ ..” Mollymauk’s voice was small, cracking at the ‘e’.

“Yes?” The man leaned in a little, his one ear prompted up.

“Yes..?” Mollymauk’s voice came through much more audibly.

“Oh good!” He settled back to where he was sitting, “Do you have any preferences? Green tea? Black? Oolong?”

Mollymauk shrugged, it took some effort to raise his shoulders, but his arms dropped back down easily with his hands folded in his lap.

“Well alright,” The man set his jaw and contemplated it over, “... Yeah… Yeah alright, I think I got something.” He picked up Mollymauk’s empty bowl, save for just the droplets of broth left unable to be scooped up by the spoon, “Oh, suppose I could ask this before I forget-do you go by any particular pronouns?”

Mollymauk let that question process.  _ Pronouns _ … He didn’t have any strong pull one way or the other when trying to consider them. Something in him used “he” and “him” often, but they were not exactly pronouns he was particularly attached to. He gave another shrug.

“Fair enough.” The man stood to his feet, “I’ll be back with some tea for you to try.” As he stepped around the table and chairs to get to the door, he hesitated walking through, “Oh!” Looking back over to Mollymauk, he smiled, “I apologize-my name is Caduceus Clay. It’s nice to meet you, Mollymauk.” And then he left.

Mollymauk.

_ Mollymauk… _

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

_ Caduceus Clay _ returned, and this time he carried in a kettle in one hand and two teacups in the other. They seemed strangely small.   


As he knelt down by Mollymauk and he offered him one, which was when he realized the teacups were actually average sized, Caduceus’s hand was just proportionally large.

“Picked out something simple, don’t want to overwhelm you with anything more unfamiliar.”

Mollymauk’s hold on the cup seemed a little shaky, even with two hands to cup the sides. Before pouring, Caduceus cradled his hand under Mollymauk’s, steadying the shiver enough to pour in the piping hot liquid. Thankfully, due to an infernal heritage, the heat was of little concern to Mollymauk.

Lifting the cup to his lips, he took a small sip. It may as well have just been water if not for the delicate flavoring that was only really tasted after smacking his tongue with the top of his mouth.

“It’s white tea,” Came the answer that Mollymauk had not even asked aloud, “Heh, sorry, you just looked confused.” Caduceus lifted his own cup to his lips, taking a sip, “Hm… This might… This may seem like a strange question, but I only ask it because I was heavily under the impression that this was the case: is  _ your _ name Mollymauk?”

The note in the coat seemed pretty evident, and Caduceus was sure that when he specifically asked about Mollymauk to the Wild Mother, she too confirmed this to be the case. However, it felt necessary to at least get a true answer from the tiefling themself.

Only, no response would come. Instead, their eyes fixed hypnotically at their cup. Consumed by concentration and in an utter daze. Caduceus waited patiently, not wanting to pressure his guest, but the length of time waiting for a reply started to get concerning. He curiously peered over Mollymauk, staring down into the cup to see whatever it was that he was seeing.

“Oh, heh, looks like a couple of the tea leaves got into your cup,” Caduceus settled back onto his knees, “I actually like to chew them.”

_ Mollymauk… Tea...leaf…  _ His crimson eyes blinked, breaking the stoic stare as he gawked up at Caduceus.

He looked back at Mollymauk, cracking out a snicker, “You’re giving me the same face my sister did when I told her that.”

“. _.. tealeaf… _ ”

“Mhm,” Caduceus plainly agreed.

“ _..mm. Mollymauk.. Tealeaf… _ ”

Caduceus was taking a slow sip from his cup, the more Mollymauk spoke, the clearer his voice was becoming, something that Caduceus’s face lightened up at, “Is that your name?”

Mollymauk nodded.

“Mollymauk _Tealeaf_?” Caduceus echoed.

Mollymauk nodded again.

“Well, isn’t that wonderful.”

The day elapsed easily, while Caduceus Clay and Mollymauk Tealeaf had not shared much more conversations than that had over tea, there was a hopefulness to see Mollymauk’s condition continually improve from here on. Caduceus would leave Mollymauk to continue resting, allowing his body to continue healing while Caduceus carried out the rest of his daily chores.

The evening settled in with the chorus of peepers filling the silence of night. Caduceus prepared another meal, more mushrooms this time thrown together with other roots and vegetables, and shared the dinner with Mollymauk. This time around, Mollymauk’s arms had a little more strength in them, being more stable with holding his spoon in one hand and the bowl in the other.

After they had finished, Mollymauk turned over and fell right back asleep. He laid down on his side, body and tail curling in on himself. It seemed like a much more natural sleeping position from when he originally lied on his back like a ragdoll.

Returning outside, Caduceus lit another stick of incense and offered before him a bundle of lavender. He had been trying to dry it out so he could steep it later, but he felt that he had an important enough question that he could happily give this up for more answers.

It was not often he found himself trying to speak with The Wild Mother, he was usually much more patient in seeing how fate transpires before him. Though in this situation now with Mollymauk… He needed a nudge, something to help him know where to turn next. He had not had another vision through his dreaming, nor did any profound revelations come from meditation during the day, so what would another direct question hurt?

“How are Mollymauk’s friends doing?”

Caduceus kept his hands folded together in his criss-crossed legs. Eyes closed as the breeze passed by, the wind wafted the smoke of incense towards his face. As his hair was pushed back, it felt as though someone was tucking a loose strand behind his ear and the warm presence leaned over his shoulder:

“ _ Collected. Safe. Wounded and tired. Grieving, yet hopeful. _ ”

When his shoulder went cold, his eyes fluttered open, finding himself alone in the courtyard before the temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for making such short chapters, originally these three parts were all in the first chapter, but I didn't like the flow of events happening all in one sitting (though perhaps if I was more patient and spent time making it just a really long fic, it would have worked, but I like living fast and loose)
> 
> I'm predicting roughly two more chapters for this fic? At least for this part in the series. We shall see what's to come next~


	4. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for reference to self-harm. It is unintentional, but still. The specific section has bolded marks around it to make it easier to distinguish when to skim and where to pick up reading again.
> 
> This section of the fic feels too important to skip entirely, so that is why there is a warning before the content is mentioned and then after the content is no longer mentioned.

Floating on his back in the dark, murky water, Mollymauk stared up at the night sky of scarcely dotted stars. The moon was full and bright, the size of it seemed unnaturally large than how it usually compared, though Mollymauk did not feel concerned by it. The presence of the moon being closer than before was comforting.

His crimson eyes lazily stared up to it, eyelids heavy and blinking, close to resting. Between the blinks, there soon formed a figure, something that blocked out the sight of the moon overhead. It was hard to make out the features of the face, since the light shone from behind it. Though as the darkness faded like a fine mist, Mollymauk’s heart dropped to the pit of his gut.

That was him.

He was standing over himself.

Before Mollymauk could speak, their hand covered his mouth, gently shushing them.

“ _ Easy _ .” Murmured his exact voice, now coming from the reflection over him, “ _ No more words _ .”

They leaned in close, their ruby eyes matching to one another. The stare was deep, intense, it felt as though this doppelganger could see into the back of his skull.

“ _ I believe you’ve had this body long enough _ .”

A wicked grin came over their face, unnaturally wide and stretching the corners of their mouth. And then, Mollymauk’s head was pushed under the water. The water was deep, with nothing to push off of to try and thrust away. He kicked his legs, but the water felt unnaturally thick, like molasses. Like mud. The water felt to be getting heavier and closed Mollymauk’s airways. He clawed at the arm, trying to pry it off or pull out of the muck. The mud was solidifying, the pressure was dense.

He kicked, he gasped.

He scratched, he screamed.

Mollymauk

_ Mollymauk _

*-_-_-_-_-_-*

**(tw:self harm)**

“ _ Mollymauk! _ ”

His eyes shot open, and without thinking he swung his arm, nails catching across something. Mollymauk began to breathe heavily, his throat had felt tight, but upon coming to consciousness… He realized that his own hand was wrapped around it. Looking at his own arm, it was marred with red lines-scratches that broke through the skin.

Before his memories completely faded, he could connect that the arm that he was clawing at was apparently his own arm, which had been choking him in his sleep.

A small hiss startled him to look over to his bedside, there he saw Mr. Caduceus Clay. He sat back, knees up, fingers pulling away from his cheek where there were four red marks- _ blood _ .

“I-I apologize,” Caduceus uttered, “It didn’t seem wise to try and grab you like that, but… I was trying to help you from choking yourself.”

Mollymauk swallowed dryly and pushed himself upright. Caduceus wiped his fingertips off on his own pants leg, rolling back onto his knees and holding a tepid hand up to Mollymauk.

“Allow me to heal you.”

There was some hesitation, Mollymauk’s eyes looked to Caduceus’s large palm and then back up to his face. His gut twisted in a way seeing those ugly scratches just between strands of Caduceus’s hair to tumble down over his brow. Mollymauk conceded and held his arm up to Caduceus.

It was a cautious touch, as only the pads of Caduceus’s index and middle fingers touched the back of Mollymauk’s wrist. Green moss crept up along his arm as small mushrooms sprung from the various cuts coated by the vegetation. After a second of the warm magic flowing through his veins, the greenery fell off and crumbled to particles upon hitting the surface of the bed. His arm no longer had any of those claw marks, only light scars remained.

**(end trigger warning)**

The healing not only helped surface level; the magic flowed up his arm and into his chest, his windpipe which felt previously bruised instead now felt like he had taken a drink of warm broth which quelled the ache left behind.

Mollymauk pulled back his hand and sat it down on the bed, giving a nod to Caduceus, “... Thank you.”

Caduceus smiled, he then touched his own cheek, murmuring under his breath as the same moss spread over the scratches and soon left behind no trace, “Hm, much better.” He got his feet underneath him and stood up tall, “Can I interest you in some tea? Something to help wake you up?”

Yeah, Mollymauk was not too enthused about going right back to sleep, he was pretty much wide awake as it is now. Though he gave a short nod. Caduceus extended his hand down to him.

“Why don’t we sit outside?”

With Caduceus’s help, Mollymauk was brought to his feet. There was a moment he stumbled as he rebalanced and found the strength in his legs again to carry him easily. Caduceus brought Mollymauk from the dark, quiet temple and out into the breaking dawn of morning. The forest around them was lush, rich with vibrant greens. Mollymauk knew it had gotten a lot hotter, and it was outright muggy now exposed to it. Even for dawn, the air felt thick. Though they sat down right in front of the large temple that Mollymauk’s head craned back to try and see the top spire of it. The one room he had been in felt so tiny compared to the vast interior and exterior that apparently held him.

Caduceus picked up the steaming pot from a tripod, careful as he poured out the piping hot water into the cups, “Please, help yourself. There’s plenty.”

Mollymauk reached down and picked up a cup, looking to the tea steeping in the water, turning it to a rich amber hue. He watched Caduceus pick up the other cup, swirl around the liquid before having a small sip from the adorably proportionally small teacup. Seemed well enough, and Mollymauk took his sip of the scalding hot drink.

“Hm, may need a moment to cool.” Caduceus smacked his tongue with the roof of his mouth.

“Doesn’t bother me much,” Mollymauk had a bigger gulp right then after.

They sat there in silence with only the distant song of a morning bird greeting the rising sun. Mollymauk’s mind was still freshly aware of the horrific nightmare he experienced, replaying in his head the lack of air, the heaviness holding him down, that terrifying smile and familiar red eyes.

“How are you feeling today?” Caduceus asked so plainly.

It brought Mollymauk out of his repetitive thoughts, taking a moment to clear his throat, “I’m… Fine.”

“Better than yesterday?” Caduceus blew on the steam rising from his cup to take another sip.

Yesterday was a hazy blur, his time recovering felt like a consistent fever dream. At some point he expected to just wake up in a cold sweat in a tavern, beating out whatever horrible ailment that overcame his body and had him hallucinate being doted on by some large goat man (- _ cow _ ?? The name of it escaped him, he vaguely knew of their kind). But instead, he was here. And while he still felt hungover, it was far less of a handover than what he can recall having had before.

“Sure.” Mollymauk grunted.

The silence settled back in between them. Caduceus didn’t seem nervous to talk, he seemed to just smile and let there be peace between them.

Mollymauk’s clarity finally allowed for thoughts to fully form in his head, and as a flood of questions began to rush in between these pauses of neither one talking, he struggled to settle his mind on one. He struggled to focus, so many words gathered and got tangled in his head.

_ Where am I? Who are you? What is this place? How am I back? Where was I? Who was I? What happened to me? Where’s my family? Why are we alone? What did you put in this tea? Why are you being so nice to me? Who was trying to take my body back? _

Honestly, he was starting to miss the white noise fuzz in his brain from earlier. It was just a constant fluff that filled between his ears and cancelled out all thoughts. And while he wanted to ignore it all together, the questions were scratching the inside of his skull wanting some sort of closure.

With enough of a spanning silence to give him time to parse through the flood and find one, Mollymauk cleared his throat and spoke, “Why… Did you…. Why did you bring me back…?”

Caduceus’s ear picked up to Mollymauk’s voice, as he swallowed he set the teapot on the small plate pinched between his thumb and pointer fingers respectively, “Oh, I did not bring you back to life. I’m afraid my capabilities do not extend to that far.”

Mollymauk blinked, taking that response and processing it through to try and strike down a few of the questions floating around.  _ He was not revived, he just rose back up, is that what it sounded like _ ?

“I came to your grave, and when I discovered it… You suddenly sprung to life and started to climb out. I only helped you and then brought you here, to my home.” Caduceus elaborated.

Mollymauk looked surprised to hear that, “I… Had a grave..?”

“It looked new,” Caduceus set down his cup of tea onto a cobblestone brick, “Barely a day old when I arrived to it. There was a branch stuck into the ground, where your coat was hung-”  _ This felt familiar, like Mollymauk had caught a glimpse of it _ , “-that’s also how I found out your name. Mollymauk.”

Caduceus reached down over into a leather knapsack kept on his hip, digging around inside to pull out a slip of paper, which he extended to Mollymauk. As Mollymauk plucked the paper up, he squinted at the scrawled words:

**_You are Mollymauk, search for the Mighty Nein_ **

_ Mollymauk _ . That’s what his name  _ looked _ like. The arches of the M, the dashes of the L’s, swooping down Y, and punctuated off at the end with a K. His own name. For some reason, trying to reassociate with it was proving more difficult than it should be, but seeing the written proof here in handwriting of vague nostalgia helped strengthen his bond to it.

_ The Mighty Nein _ . The title repeated over. And over. And over. For only eight words on a small piece of paper, Mollymauk ran his eyes over them over and over. It was like the turning of a valve as a faucet began to pour and fill memories back into his head.

_ “Welcome to the Mighty Nein!” came in the echoed voice of the small black bird, taking a small goblin girl by surprise. Nott. _

_ Catching a blue tiefling draw in her notebook a portrait of one of their horses pulling the cart along on the open trail. Jester. _

_ Watching a man in a brown trenchcoat create a circle on the ground with components sitting in some of the circles, changing a hawk back into a familiar tabby cat. Caleb. _

_ Having a belligerent monk in shackles flip him off and sneer a nasty stink eye at him. Beau. _

_ Seeing the green half orc stare down at his reflection into the still water in a dripping cavern, about to have his face dunked under the surface. Fjord. _

_ And of course, a tall woman, someone who’s been by his side for the longest time and accompanied him into a tavern upon the first time they met with these five other people. Yasha. _

These memories came rushing in, filling most of the empty cavity that was left in his chest. Speaking of, Molly’s hand reached up, fingers touching between his exposed sternum. As his eyes shakily looked down, he took notice of a gnarly scar left there. The skin had healed over, but it was uneven, sunken in, very evident there had been a deep gash-a deep  _ cut _ -a deep  **stab** . That vicious grin from the man standing over him, glaive in hand and blade buried in his chest. The pain was immeasurable, as all the energy left in Molly’s body to fight or squirm away was gone. Once he twisted it, everything faded into inky blackness, and then… Nothing…

But now, there was  _ something _ again. There was an actual spirit inside of him. No longer did he feel like he was a puppeteer just barely marionetting his own body around, no more did he feel like his skin was a suit too big for him. It was all his again. This was his body. This was his heart, mind, and soul.

Molly came to these conclusions himself, and when he looked back up, he saw Caduceus staring back at him. He lifted his eyebrows, expecting for Molly to say something.

“... Have… You seen them?” Molly urged, “The Mighty Nein-they call themselves the Mighty Nein, there’s not really  _ nine _ of us-of them-it’s  _ zemmian _ or some shit.”

Caduceus had his tea in hand again, grimacing lightly and shook his head, “Afraid not. When I found you, there was no one else around. And no one we crossed by on the way back.”

Twisting guilt churned nauseously in his gut, Molly stuck the piece of paper into pants as to pocket it. He then quickly got his feet underneath him and stood up so quickly, but the action of that made the ground swoop underneath him. Just as he tripped and began to fall down from the dangerous sway, arms were quick to catch him midfall and ease him down to the ground. Molly’s eyes squeezed shut, the world spinning far too fast around him.

“Careful,” Caduceus chided, “Where do you need to go?”

“Mm, find them.” Molly’s eyes blinked open just as the world’s violent rotation began to settle, “ _ Gods _ ,” he grieved.

Caduceus exhaled through his nose, helping Molly to sit up on his rear and kept his arm around his shoulders. As he looked at Mollymauk’s face, he caught eyes with him, “Mollymauk,” Caduceus started, “I believe you still need time to heal.”

“I don’t have  _ time _ ,” Molly fumed, “They’re in serious  _ danger _ . I’ll be fine.”

Caduceus let go of Mollymauk, who then made another attempt. This time a much slower rise to stand. The ground felt so far down now and his legs felt like unstable stilts. Taking a moment to try and take a few steps, he was again wrought with the ground swaying and his sense of direction absolutely lost. He leaned to the side of the temple for support.

“Mollymauk?” Caduceus’s voice came up closer from behind Molly, “You’re still in no condition for travel. With how quickly you’ve been recovering, I believe you could very well be back to full health as soon as tomorrow.” His arm reached out in front of Molly, offered to him as a support.

Molly looks up to Caduceus, with such a stern tone, he was still very sympathetic to him. Not that Molly cared much for sympathy or pity, but Caduceus had been good to him thus far.

Without further protest, Molly took Caduceus’s arm, “One more day…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, bookmarks! It's all appreciated and I love it very much! Thank you!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to get onto some weekly schedule with uploading chapters. I won't lie, a bit of this is just going off the cuff and I have ideas, I'm simply writing and seeing just how they flow.
> 
> I got a [Twitter](https://twitter.com/monsterhandhold) and a [Tumblr](https://monsterhandholder.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And between updates of this fic, maybe I'll post some simpler drabbles that I have in mind for Clayleaf!


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